When I first decided to give my life to Christ at age 16, I was completely ‘souled’ out for Him for a good year or so. There were plenty of things I had not yet understood or known but I did understand that my life belonged to this amazing God who loved me so much that He gave His Son to be slain so that I may be saved by His grace and have life more abundantly (John 3:16, John 10:10, Romans 14:7-9, Ephesians 2:8). I knew that God had loved me and that no one else could ever love me like The Messiah does. I also knew that I had a mission; that mission was (and still is) to share The Gospel so that all may know of this pure, everlasting, unshakable love that our holy Savior freely gives.
I had like-minded friends who encouraged me as I encouraged them to thoroughly enjoy this beautiful journey with Christ through life on earth. I was a radical 16 year old when it came to being about my Father’s business. I could not be shaken…so I thought.
Within the next four years of my life, I slowly, but surely, began to compromise…especially in my relationships (friends and boyfriends). In compromising, I lost sight of what and Who was important. I continued to attend church services and bible study groups but at one point, I felt like I was only doing it because I thought I should. My actions became aimless and my life became purposeless.
Soon, I idolized my future career goals, my hair, boys, and so many other things. I can’t even imagine how insulted God must have felt when He looked at me to only see the amount of idols I had accumulated over a short period of time.
My prayer life became weak and I stopped reading God’s Word. I was lost and I eventually felt like I hit a point of no return. I was so broken and ready to call a quits on life and my relationship with God. I would often say to myself, “How could I pray to Him? He probably doesn’t even want to hear from me. I’ve neglected my Lord completely.” Through the doubt, pain, and suffering that I was going through, I then experienced God’s faithfulness and truth in His Word.
Psalm 34:18 reads,
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in Spirit.”
I had read this scripture before but reading it during my time of suffering meant the world to me. It gave me something to hold on to. It helped me to remember God’s love for us.
I then began to share my struggles with my friends, because I couldn’t keep it in any longer, and the Lord used them to so elegantly help me to get back to Him. I decided that, with God’s grace and my effort, I would not make any idols for myself anymore. I needed to honor my holy and faithful Lord with all of me!!! Even if it took all of my energy and breath!
God gave me strength to be diligent and I finally got back to reading God’s Word. One day, I stumbled across the book of Ecclesiastes. I realized I had never read it all the way through so I decided to do it. The revelation God gave me was mind blowing.
Ecclesiastes is believed to have been written by Solomon, who was the richest and wisest man who lived during that time. Throughout the book, Solomon talks about how everything is meaningless without God. He paints a picture of the riches he had, what he achieved, and how he could have whatever and whoever he wanted. He was, what people in our generation would call today, “The Man.” Solomon had it all but He soon realized that none of it meant anything. Solomon made it clear that nothing will ever completely satisfy us unless it is our Lord. His conclusion was to fear God and keep His commandments (Ecc 12:13).
I immediately gained a new perspective on life.
I read Ecclesiastes a second time, soon after I finished it the first time, and I then decided that I wanted to live a life with no attachments to this world. We hold on so tight to things and goals and people and it is so distracting to what is truly important. If God wants us to have something, He’ll give it to us, and if He doesn’t, we need to let Him take it away. He knows best and I know this to be completely true.
Having no attachments to this world doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy life and the people therein, but it means that if I was ever in a Job situation (the blameless man who had EVERYTHING taken away from him), I would know that God is enough for me and will always be, and no matter what is going on in my life or in the world, God will FOREVER deserve to be worshiped and praised solely because of who He is…period!
I challenge you all to read Ecclesiastes and meditate on the things that Solomon is saying. God’s Word is sooooo awesome and I can’t get enough.
Feel free to share your thoughts or questions and if you have any prayer requests let me know. May God bless you with peace and assurance in Him. Love you all.
Thanks for reading!!